A matter of age difference


Why do we stress so strongly against an age difference of 5 years?

My parents are 12 years apart and it’s been a long painful upbringing for me as the eldest male child when a lot of people continue to tell me how sinful my parents are giving into desires. The simple fact is that if anyone would get to know them it would become plain as day that God had his hand in their marriage my father’s faults are perfectly matched to my mother’s where one of them falters the other has gifts that perfect it. I.e. my dad is very brilliant and logical however he lacks social skills but my mother has amazing social skills and lacks business sense or logical thinking one is always there to help the other.


In my time I have seen 100s of God given relationships with age gaps that have endured the most harrowing and painful stories and yet the church still stands against them. One in particular of a friend who fell in love while trying to become a pastor, he was married and kicked out of the program but a year later his wife was finally convinced to leave him only to be brought back by circumstances I would call Godly 5 years later he returned to the theology program only to again be kicked out and once again his wife divorced him and then 5 years later by some Miracle God brought them back together they had 3 children and he has finally graduated from theology however he works as a security guard because no church will employ him yet the man has a God given ministry talent.

Unfortunately in this day and age to remain pure the church is implementing strict ministry policies, to attain a full time job in the ministry in any area one must have already been married and ones significant other must be within 2 years of age difference where 5 years is the absolute limit. If you are within 16-25 years of age it is strongly recommended that you find your husband or wife during your college years as only very rarely will a single person be hired.


I have strong desires to become a pastor and feel called to do so, however the problem with me is that when I was 16 to 25 for some reason I happened to look like I was in my 30s not joking here, in my rebellious years I wanted to see a rated R movie and walked right into it with no questions asked as well as other age requirements even to the point of being asked to leave social clubs because sure I was 16 however it made persons uncomfortable that I definitely didn’t look 16. Now that I’m in my 30s I honestly to God look like I’m in my early 20s and in the dating game is made women my age very uncomfortable however I have no end in dating requests from women in their 20s


Is is truely a sin to get involved with someone over 2 years older or younger than I am? Why is it something we seem so dead set focused upon when I’ve grown up with truely inspiring people who have had spouses within 10 years of each other and why should we deny or accost anyone who plays the game differently?


I honestly never heard of this. Would you reject the idea that you should try to find someone your age?

Probably because it’s a policy of the more conservative religious leaders in Australia, they view an older male in a relationship with a younger female as targeting her and relate it to grooming, if she’s significantly younger than you are it’s seen that you have a measure of influence over her and some are so blinded by zealotism that the only way they can fathom an older man interested in a younger woman is that he is only interested in sex.

I have no issue dating a woman my age, the only problem with it is that I’m a 34 year old man who honest to God looks like a 20 year old man which has brought a lot of pain into my relationships with women my age

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