This is definitely a hard question, when your someone who has grown up dreaming about having a family only to find out that your spouse definitely does not want them it can be a very painful experience and definitely can lead to divorce. I can speak from experience in a way because I grew up in the “I kiss dating goodbye” book phase which unfortunately lead a lot of Christians into thinking that sexual acts were a direct sin against God and a lot of persons in ministry began grooming us to become completely abstained from physical intimacy and this lead to an alarming rate of divorce and people who left the church.
I think it’s simply up to the individual if you just can’t see the marriage going anywhere without children then it might just be better to find a person in your life who will give you children. I agree the world is overpopulated and we have more than enough children needing adoption but that process can be harrowing because even with adoption you may end up waiting years to find a child and even when you finally have them they’re not really yours your still completely dependant upon the government’s regulations and as my parents can testify adopting after their children left home, nothing is more painful than losing your kids if a parent changes their minds 10 years down the road or if someone simply becomes jealous and has the audacity to file a false complaint. Adopting children can sometimes take the strongest of convictions and faith in God to survive.
During the I kiss dating goodbye fiasco I saw too many friends desperately trying to hold marriages together, while one spouse was fully convicted to complete sexual abstinence the other would struggle and it lead to many years of pain and betrayal. One of my guy friends used to call me in tears he was hopelessly in love with his spouse however she was completely convinced that if she allowed the act of sex to occur there was no way she would get into heaven and her pastor supported it fully. My friend wanted a little boy more than anything someone to teach and play catch with and for 5 years he suffered great depression and suicidal thoughts until finally they were divorced.
I’m not saying this will effect every case of marriage but I saw enough turmoil during the abstinence wait for the year 2000 fully convinced Jesus would return and the further abstinence wait for 2012.
The bible does say be not unequally yoked and I believe that can be applied to more than just religious differences.
God wants us to be happy and a marriage based upon prayers and complete faith in him can be just as beautiful as our legendary fabled/historical love stories. Unfortunately in this day and age sin is so rampant it causes so many beliefs and traditions that marriage has almost officially become a thing of the past.
Honestly if you can’t see yourself happy regarding the children then find someone who makes you happy. There just isn’t enough time left and life is just too short to deny yourself the miracle of child rearing. I myself am determined to experience it on my own and I’ve broken my heart many times when I found a potential spouse who wasn’t for it.
I’ve grown up as a father, because my mother ran a daycare in our small house and attempted to adopt multiple times, been called daddy many times and it just melts your heart and gives an indescribable experience in joy and well-being. No matter how many people tell me “oh common adopt it’s no different” but it is I’ve experienced constantly growing up as a father figure and while rewarding it in no way con replace my desire for my own offspring, what will they be like? What traits of mine will they have what will I pass on genetically? How will I raise them differently?
I do believe in biblical marriage and firmly support it but I don’t believe that we must become so rigid in our thinking that we submit ourselves to miserable marriages to remain Christians